MeganFS

So I'm back to blogging after leaving it about a week. Look away now if your not looking to read anything long or philosophical. What I've posted in recent times has been fairly contemptuous, But that is how I generally felt the whole time. I've never really bought into the whole new years thing. It has always seemed to be just another day, the only thing remotely different to any other is that everybody uses it as an excuse to get hammered and goes around making promises they cant keep. But this year was different, Really different actually. I'd hit a really big low, And I think some of the hardest experiences a person can go through in life have all hit me in the last couple of years.

 2011 for me is about control, regaining it and getting my life back together. But after not even two weeks of the new year everything is so so positive. I'm going back to university in march if i can get occupational health clearance and signed as fit to work again by the doctors. That's my main goal of the year and its getting really close. I'm also looking at getting another job, something new, fresh and exciting blah blah blah. Part time and weekends that will fit around uni and being back at the hospital. Moving to a new house in the summer! I went back to netball last night ( I joined about a month before Christmas, So I went to two sessions but two were cancelled, and i was in so much pain i couldn't really do anything there) But last night seemed to go really well. I joined in as much as i could. (They know about the CES so they are fine with me when I'm too sore or when i cant join in with things) But giving it a really good go has been really good for me inside and out I think. My back seems to be able to take a slow jog and all the throwing and catching is really working my arms and shoulders. Plus you stay still when you have the ball in netball so there's not loads of running, so its a good way of easing me back in. But my body felt really good afterwards yesterday, Like my blood was really pumping and it felt nice.

I drove home afterwards, but when I got into bed and lay down, I just lay for ages and ages. And for the first time in a really really long time, It wasn't pain that was keeping me awake, Or nerves playing up in my spinal cord, or my bladder problems, It was this really overwhelming feeling of happiness. All of the negative people in my life I am rid of and I'm left surrounded completely with good positive people. I lay there and opened the curtain behind my bed, and sat watching the street outside.  Everything was so calm, No drama, No hassle. Like I mentioned earlier, alot of my blog's before have been quite contemptuous, But more than anything I feel among the so so lucky.