Changing times

For the first time in such a really long time.. i feel settled. and it feels good. As much as i like thrill.. and un answered questions.. and not knowing whats coming next.. For the last five years or so everything has frittered in so many different directions.. so many bad directions.. and just when you think that thats the worst it can get.. it gets worse.  Or just when you think you know where you going.. it all changes. Im not sure what it has to do with happiness, Its not just all the sad things that have happened over the last couple of years.. more the feeling overwhelmed and like you dont fit anywhere. I moved 200 miles away so young, and on my own and everything i knew was different. Im not complaining.. it was a great experience.. I remember looking around my room after a year of being there and everything was new. there was nothing from home.. nothing old. It diddnt feel very me.. although it did. A feeling of constantly changing at a faster pace than you can hande. No more than a few weeks on the same placement without getting used to new rules.. new staff.. a new way. I started to feel really settled down there, and made the most amazing memories with the most amazing people. Thats when i felt the happiest..
Ive kind of discovered with me that so many things change so quickly, in all different aspects of life, This is what i find the most difficult because you cant just deal with one thing. It all piles ontop of you and takes so much longer to digest and move on. I felt happy and settled there.. it just took me a little while. And now.. after six months of being home again.. I really do feel happy here. Constant things help for some reason. like my music collection. That makes me feel happy and simple and grounded because wherever i am and however ive felt it has been with me. Its not new.. I dont associate it with liverpool or with hertfordshire or london or wirral or anywhere else for that matter. Its mine and its personal and wherever i am it helps. And for some reason scent too.. Ive been wearing the same one pretty much since i was at school.. it makes me feel happy.. and simple. The things that are a constant. That no matter how much changes, they stay the same.